Writing 101, Day 3; your 3 favourite songs

Today’s prompt is “write about the three most important songs in your life.”

Stupid
By Brendan McLean

If you weren’t so stupid, I could have loved you.
And if you weren’t so stupid, but you’re pretty stupid.
And if you weren’t so busy, I could have loved you.
But you work in an office and you’ve got other offers.

Tell me, what is his name now? What is his name?
I’m excited to hear the news. Tell me, what is his name now?
What does it say about you?

But let’s not be friends, or else this will never end.
Let’s not be friends for sure, for sure.

And if you weren’t so ugly, I could have loved you.
It’s something I tell myself when I’m down to get high.
Lord.
If you made me a coffee, I could have loved you.
And I’d make you hot chocolate and anything you wanted.

Tell me, who is invited?
So fucking delighted to see all the boys, you see.
Tell me, why don’t I fight it? What does it say about me?

And let’s not be friends, or else this will never end.
Let’s not be friends for sure, for sure.

We’d adopt, we’d have dogs.
I have all the things he’s got.
But I’m not.

So let’s stop, pretend that there’ll be a happy end.
Let’s not be friends for sure, for sure.

We’d adopt. We’d have dogs.
I have all the things he’s got.
But I’m not.

In all honesty, I went through a really rough break up about two months ago, and when it ended with he and I, I lost the closest friend I’ve ever had- we’d been “best friends”, and all the other acquaintances I had through him. I use the term “best friends” loosely because looking back I didn’t trust him and he didn’t trust me, and we dragged each other down relentlessly- but all we had was each other, since fifth grade- how were we to know how awful we were? Two disabled, mentally ill, MOGII children living in a physically abusive town with emotionally abusive family- we didn’t know any better.
So, I’ve lost everything I thought I had, and determined that it was all false the whole time anyways- but, I’ve also determined that this is a chance to start over with a ( more or less. Less, I’d think ) clean proverbial slate.
I’m beginning my adult life. Once I have enough money saved for school, I’ll be able to go away to college- I’ll be in a new place, and meet new people, and be who I want to be, and for once in my life, really make an effort.
The first month or so, after this breakup, and the month leading into it, were absolutely terrible for me. I was more depressed than I had been since tenth grade- I was suicidal, and hopeless, and helpless to give myself the supports I needed because I didn’t ( still don’t really ) know what I needed.
But then I heard this song- it was in episode 47 of Welcome to Nightvale; the Company Picnic- and it struck a chord with me. I thought “you know what, to hell with this! We both messed up things a lot- but it certainly wasn’t anything that could be helped. There was nobody to blame- least of all myself!”
Then I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and that was pretty much that. I still had bad days where I blamed myself, days I would get angry and blame him and his new partner- but really, we’re both at fault, and that cancels itself out. We screwed up big time- that’s for sure. We ignored what we needed in the effort to give each other what they needed, but all we wanted was for the other to look after themselves, and we made ourselves worse.
I tried my damnedest for him, but now I’m going to try my damnedest for myself.
If he couldn’t be bothered to love me properly, then I can’t be bothered with him.

Faithful Guide
By Wintersleep

I dreamt you were a monster
With fiery, fiery eyes
I dreamt the sun is burning
That you just kept on staring
I was afraid of what would happen
If God would take you with him
The broken, lonely captain
Sailing blind
Into the distance

I wanted to go with you
To be right by your side
So I could steer the vessel
So you could rest your eyes
I wanted to go with you
To be your faithful guide
But I was too afraid of
The monsters at the tide

Let me start this off by saying that this isn’t for anyone else. There’s no one I’m pining after, no one I want to look after and care for- this is for me. I’ve spent my whole life looking after other people. It’s time to look after myself. I’m going to be my own faithful guide. I’m going to be the person I needed when I was a kid.
For so long, I’ve been too scared of my own problems to do anything for myself- I’ve been to long giving up on fighting my monsters that I’ve never looked out for myself.
Well I’m done with that crap. It’s time to take myself by the hand and fight for my own right to be healthy and happy. It’s time to teach myself to fight tooth and claw for my rights.
I am so done letting myself be lost and hopeless.

Photosynthesis
By Frank Turner

Well, I guess I should confess
That I am starting to get old
All the latest music fads
All passed me by and left me cold

All the kids are talking slang
I won’t pretend to understand
All my friends are getting married
Mortgages and pension plans

And it’s obvious my angry
Adolescent days are done
And I’m happy and I’m settled
In the person I’ve become

But that doesn’t mean I’m settled up
And sitting out the game
Time may change a lot
But some things they stay the same

Maturity’s a wrapped up
Package deal or so it seems
Ditching teenage fantasy means
Ditching all your dreams

All your friends and peers
And family solemnly tell you
You will have to grow up
Be an adult, be bored and unfulfilled

But no one’s yet explained to me
Exactly what’s so great about slaving
50 years away on something that you hate about
Meekly shuffling down the path of mediocrity
Well, if that’s your road then take it
But it’s not the road for me

And if all you ever do with your life
Is photosynthesize, then you’ll deserve
Every hour of your sleepless nights
That you waste wondering when you’re going to die

Now I’ll play and you sing
The perfect way for the evening to begin
I won’t sit down and I won’t shut up
And most of all I will not grow up

Let’s be real for a moment- I’m just barely legal. I’m not getting old yet- but I am getting older. I’ve done a lot of growing up over the last three months.
I’ve learned a lot about what it means to “be a grown up” and let me just say, I am NOT impressed. I’ve never met a “grown up” that’s half as smart or as strong as I am. I’ve met a few adults who are, but I’m deeply disappointed by my parents generation. Deeply, deeply disappointed.
Please. Tell me again how Generation Y is ruining society. It was YOUR generation that contributed unabashedly and unrelentingly to destroying our earth and our rights. We’re just trying to pick up your bloody pieces.
The people who tell me to “grow up” out of whatever it happened to be that offends them- my vulgar language, my sexuality, my gender identity, my sense of fashion, my love of art, my affection for animals, my empathy, my passion for social justice, the fact that I’m vegan, my body positivity ( god help us when a fat chick shows off her legs, right? )- are a hell of a lot worse off than I am. Chances are that, if you’re telling me to “grow up”, you’re some 45 year old Conservative Christian pro-lifer that emotionally abuses his children and sees his wife as less than himself.
If you’re one of those people, you need to fuck right off and leave this blog. This space is not for you. You are loathed here and will be greeted with distrust and open hostility.
You are sickening and I will oppose you loudly and and with intense vulgarity.

I’m sick of people telling me to “grow up”.  I live my life with respect to those who deserve it. You, you’ve already “grown up”, and you see where that got you? You’re disgusting.
I’m going to shine so brilliantly, for as long as I can. I’m well on my way as it is. You’re nothing compared to my.

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